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Narcissism & Betrayal

Sometimes we find ourselves in turmoil through no fault of our own, left wondering what happened? Being separated from someone you care about, someone you've trusted by a 3rd party can be devastating. When this occurs, the 3rd party has violated universal morality guiding human decency.

Having said that, it's not always possible for us to control things in the usual, expected ways. And betrayal is at the core of such separatist behaviours. When it's deliberate, there's a good smattering of narcissism involved and we know that to beat the narcism, we have to simply stop playing their game by choosing our own game, by choosing to live the better life.

Like everyone else, I have to remember the core ingredients to sorting betrayal:

1/ Breathe - breathing helps all things good.

2/ Decide - to let this situation continue unchallenged, or to make a call, send an email, contact the person you've been separated from, say what's there to be said.

3/ Choose to trust your own self in making your next moves.

Self-trust is huge - which decisions will keep me safe and effective in my life, which won't? What have I done well recently, and how can I be sure to do that again? Being separated from those we rely on, those we trust, those who make life easier somehow, can be deeply traumatising, but self-trust is always available.

Healing from this situation comes through making belly-true choices around our next steps. Contact that person you've been separated from if that's appropriate. Move forward with grace and dignity, remembering this is your life - not theirs, not that 3rd party.

Many love couples are separated by others who are jealous, angry, foolish. It's the stuff of many tales, many lives affected, many hearts devastated as things work themselves out. Family members get separated from each other in similar ways. It happens between colleagues, and a smattering of professional relationships.

If you've been betrayed, separated from someone and you don't know how / why, be sure to find your voice. Demand the answers you seek. Don't be fobbed. Take heart - this is common practice for narcissists and unfulfilled people. Regular, healthy-hearted people like you and I, don't play that game.

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