As if it's not bad enough being affected by someone's narcissistic behaviours, the awareness of the ongoing impact on your life then sustains the suffering, sometimes indefinitely - Unless you get a grip on how to move forward. So if you've lost out to a predatoreal dinosaur (that's technical term for narcissistic personalities that are yet to get the therapy they need), then step out of their sphere of influence as quickly as possible.
Getting distance is key to survival.
The grief following the realisation of copping narcissism is very real & must be attended. Similar to Kubler-Ross' progression through death related grief which includes denial, anger, depression, bargaining & acceptance stages, N.A.G. also includes a different stage - Re-Authoring.
Re-Authoring during N.A.G. is really important - it keeps you out of the drama so you don't go trying to rescue your assailant, don't fall into retribution of become a victim. Instead, this is time to re-author what's real for your future. Create your life proactively!
To re-author your situation and future, begin with what you do have now. Inevitably, the losses & suffering will continue to hurt as you examine what's left of your life, but hang in there!
Consider what you still have, value it! & move your mindset into curiosity gear. What do you have - skills? intellect? vision? - that will help you start playing the bigger game?
What narcissism does is to call on the recipient to stop, reflect, grieve, then transform. It demands you go from the game of life you were playing, & step into a bigger game of life, a bigger game of life, a more contributory game of life.
Do not accept previous normality as something to strive for - you are being called into something more than you've striven for so far. It's also the perfect retribution - to make your life more than that narcissistic person could ever imagine.
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