Suffering Life comes from not taking responsibility for making it great. After all, your life is yours - no-one else's. This is you, your body, your thoughts, your choices, your behaviours, your feelings. Not theirs, not his, not hers. All yours.
So do you like what you've got thus far? I hope so, but if not, let's work on that. Check out what's in your life that you do like. If you were tossing it all out and starting over, what would you keep, what would you polish a bit better, what would go immediately into the bin?
Start with binning the stuff (including people) that holds zero value or purpose for you. If it's broken, doesn't work, doesn't do what it's supposed to, toss it. Put together all the stuff that doesn't work and holds no positive emotional base for you and bin it. If it's broken but does hold emotional value, and brings a smile, or a sense of joy, keep it. Display it. Let it wander around the house for a while.
Be ruthless! Just because that person is in your life because of such & such, doesn't mean you have to cop their anger / bitterness / rudeness / constant criticism / negativity all the time. Out they go. At least for a while. See them less often, call them a little less. Consider what they do bring to you - maybe a chat about how you've been getting along would be useful for improving things?
Depression often results from living a life designed by circumstance & other peoples' choices, rather than your own. What choices are you making about what & who is in your life? It's called 'leading your life' for a reason - it's you who has to lead it.
Where choice doesn't exist - someone or something has passed away or left your world forever in some way - then perception around that is key. What are you telling yourself about that loss? It happened because of some deficit in you? because of something out of your control? because of something in your control but not your awareness? Beating yourself up again? Huh? Depressing hey? You've forgotten your spark of life is your own.
The detrimental talk in your head has to be changed into 'what's next?' styled thinking. What can I do? Can I fix this? What's something else I can focus on for a while?
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